ear-hair-farming

present participle. Let’s just say it’s way past harvest time and leave it at that.

Real citation: "The allure grew once the band began touring, and fans bred on ear-hair-farming schlubs were met by bright-eyed boys with Close-Up smiles and patricion cheekbones who seemed to have wandered into the underground after a track meet."
(Jon Folan, page 66, Spin, July 2005)

Made-up citation: “I come from a long line of proud, decent, God-fearing, bunny-strangling, homemade-cross-toting, ear-hair-farming molemen.”