de-stankifier

noun. A device used in conjunction, as recommended by doctors, with the self-depantsifier.

Real citation: “non carb eaters tend to have stank breath because of the ketones being consumed. invest in some breath de-stankifier for the long run.”
(Dec. 17, 2003, Starjewel, http://72.14.205.104/search?q=cache:ynnaJVGWuGEJ:starjewel.org/archives/001476.html+stankifier&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us)

Made-up citation: “Dating advice for boys: Go easy on the de-stankifier. Don’t set it to nuke with extreme prejudice. I wouldn’t roll in your own poo either, but if they love you, they’ll love your stank—and they’ll return for many whiffs of your sweet, sweet pheromajigs.”