pseudo-fornication

noun. This nookie lacks authenticity, cookie.

Real citation: “and now my brain hurts, unable to comment on teenage pseudo-fornication. i believe i have truly failed you all.”
(Sept. 3, 2006, Too Much Skunk in Your Junk, http://skunkgal.blogspot.com/2006/09/fellatio-and-vincent-donofrio.html)

Made-up citation: “Can pseudo-fornication be mathematically represented as getting to negative first base?”