seniorcitizenfriend

noun. A dude or dudettte with conjugal duties who is a paleo-something-or-other.

Real citation: “Do you want to get married of course, who wants to be middle aged calling someone their ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ friend, you can't do that, you'll be old, you'll have to say 'senoircitizenfriend' 'oldmanfriend' or even worse”
(Jan. 2008, http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=2148039134)

Made-up citation: “Betty Lou dumped her seniorcitizenfriend, cut out the middleman, and started dating her father directly.”