un-diddly-fiddly

adj. Lacking all diddly-fiddly attributes, many of which are illegal in the tri-state region.

Real citation: "All that Olympic torch hullabaloo has left me with a dilemma - How am I meant to enjoy the forthcoming Olympic Games when there's all that rottenness going on in Tibet? How can I justify slavering at the prospect of a month's worth of athletics, when all them monks are being arrested and tortured by the Chinese? How can a man possibly enjoy the gymnastics (in a completely wholesome and un-diddly-fiddly way, o'course) when those evil yellow hoards are rampaging through the Most Spiritual Country On Earth© and pissing on the carpets?"
(Aug. 4, 2008, ITTODBTBIA Looks Into...Business, http://bpperry3.blogspot.com/2008/04/chinese-democracy.html)

Made-up citation: "I would make a great bishop. First, I'd fire all the priests, since they seem incapable of behaving in an un-diddly-fiddly manner. I'd let the nuns pick up the slack--not the diddly-fiddly slack, but whatever else priests do, like community-building, demon-exorcising, and confession-wheedling. Where do I apply, Catholic church? I'm reporting for duty."