pineapple-ologist

noun. An expert in the only field more delicious than aerospace engineering. Hey, have you ever tasted an astronaut? They are to die for!

Real citation: "Doc Bernstein appears to be Beth Bernstein; this is the only Dr. Bernstein in Bakersfield. She is (you guessed it) a psychiatrist. She has a phone number as well, but unfortunately it answers only to “You have reached the Department of Psychiatry. Please leave a message.” Perhaps tomorrow will bring an answer to another question: does Dr. Bernstein evaluate children or Big Possums? I don’t see why the little ones need to be evaluated (perhaps such intervention is in their futures, if they continue to be exposed to their mother’s apparent illness). Just a thought, but if PMomma’s problems are purely physical (i.e. LUPUS), why not see a rheumatologist, kidneyologist, skinologist, strokeologist, or pineapple-ologist etc. for all of the ailments she has been complaining about all these months? Nope. The court deems she needs a mental headologist, and she agrees."
(Jan. 7, 2009, Musings from the Moon, http://blog.psychic-wisdom.net/2009/01/07/posssums-in-a-pickle-now-aint-she/)

Made-up citation: "My biggest regret? I coulda been a pineapple-ologist, and I woulda, if it weren't for those meddling bounty hunters."