sea-dweeb

noun. A dude with balls and gills. What a catch.

Real citation: “As we learn, in Mer-world there is no such thing as love, or at least this is what her mer-oldman has been trying to run up on her, to mollify her heartbreak at being foresworn to wed a mer-fella for which she has no feelings. Alas, she is betrothed to some sap of a sea-dweeb, yet she is the only one unhappy about it as the coupling represents an advantageous circumstance for the parents involved - a good family merger. Still Aqua knew there was something missing - something she's heard whispered across the waves. A crazy little thing called love.”
(2006, zBoneman Movie Reviews, http://www.zboneman.com/movies/Aquamarine-1323.html)

Made-up citation: “And then the dashing sea-dweeb fell in love with a beautiful sea sponge. They went on to have many mutant hybrids and profitable webpages.”