masturventurer

noun. An extreme yam-slammer (or taco-tickler) whose dolphin is waxed far beyond the call of self-servicing duty.

Real citation: “An additional way to increase calorific demand of masturbation is cause celular damage. Masturbate using a sandpaper glove or treebranch dildo. For any masturventurers try proourethral wanking. Use the business-end of a coat hanger (stop after about 10 cm), or for the man with endourethral girth, try a cork-screw. U'll be having fun, burning calories and scraping the syphilis out of ur pipes.”
(Jan. 12, 2007, Steady Health, http://www.steadyhealth.com/masterbation_calories_burn_t56436.html)

Made-up citation: “The scrotum self-repair guy is a first ballot inductee in the Masturventurer Hall of Fame.”