Wednesday, February 27, 2008


adj. Some things have nothing to do with feces, you toilet-brained poopoobuckethead.

Real citation: “On Mile 118 of the Alaska Highway, in a little townlet known as Kluane (Kloo-awn-nee) Village, lies the self-proclaimed ‘Burl Capital of the Yukon.’ Some guy known as Scully takes these burls – rounded outgrowths from the trunks of trees – and turns them into both homey knick-knacks (polished bowls, etc.) and semi-frightening (some would say ‘primitive’) art. He’s the type of guy who’ll open up his store for you but leave to go finish his dinner, who’ll post signs like ‘Feel Free to Not Buy Anything,’ who’s published a book of aphorisms and will knock a buck off the price if you ask him to autograph it. The type of guy to name his non-turd-oriented business ‘The Blue Moose Turd Factory.’ Stop by, won’t you?”
(June 23, 2004, Heart on a Stick,

Made-up citation: “In winter, my short-haired, tiny dog makes few adventures into the outside world that are non-turd-oriented.”

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