electro-depantsifier

noun. A pants-removing instrument to be used with extreme caution--and possibly an advanced degree.

Related terms: self-depantsifier.

Real citation: “I would think the easier scan in an Amsterdam airport would be to look for those people that aren't smuggling drugs out of the country (because who in their right mind would try to bring them in, that's like trying to smuggle beer into Canada). If this electro-depantsifier emits any sort of Alarming Klaxon of Guilt when it detects someone leaving Amersterdam with a nickel bag of weed tucked up their no-no, that's got to be the loudest airport security area since Paula Abdul was denied First Class.”
(Wender J. Crinklebank, May 16, 2007, Dave Barry’s Blog, http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2007/05/attention_hotbo.html)

Made-up citation: "My shopping list: rice milk, almond butter, electro-depantsifier, death ray, Goldbond."