Thursday, July 26, 2007


noun. An ability--who knows, perhaps bestowed by the one true God--to detect asshats of all persuasions and denominations.

Related terms: gaydar, straightdar, bi-dar, sexual-geniusdar, hickdar, loserdar, boob-dar, penis-dar, big dick-dar, hair-dar, porn-dar, sex-dar, food-dar, sleep-dar, money-dar, ho-dar, slut-dar, babe-dar, virgin-dar, jailbaitdar, hottie-dar, weirdo-dar, jerk-dar, moron-dar, dorkdar, skankdar, freak-dar, ass-dar, asshole-dar, Pretentious Club-going New York Assholedar, someone-is-staring-at-my-ass-dar, “Jesus Freak” dar, zombie-dar, fake-boob-dar, dogdar, catdar, ratdar, camel toe-dar.

Real citation: “other then that, just use your ASSHATDAR (asshat radar that is!)”
(April 11, 2007,

Made-up citation: "Enclosed is my resume, which details my graduate education, managerial experience, quick reflexes, keen asshatdar, and nice gams."

1 comment:

Wender J. Crinklebank said...

German scientist and Doppler Enthusiast Christian Hülsmeyer was the first to develop the asshatdar back in 1906, after discovering that asshats carried a distinct electromagnetic signal that caused most normal people immediate annoyance. Suddenly obsessed with creating a device capable of sensing, from distances of up to 100 meters, the approach of an annoying asshat, Herr Hülsmeyer spent the next 25 years refining his device, finally acquiring Reichspatent Nr. 176266 for the first working asshatdar in history.

Rather unfortunately for Hülsmeyer, his asshatdar worked a bit too well; on August 3, 1933, while touring the lab facility in which Hülsmeyer worked, Adolf Hitler was surprised by a deafening klaxon ringing from Hülsmeyer's desk. The asshatdar had obtained a signal lock of 98.776% while pointing directly at the Chancellor, causing several of Hitler's aides to chuckle.

No one ever heard from Hülsmeyer -- or those aides -- again.