turdological

adj. “Turdy” grew up, went to grad school, copped an attitude, and got some fancy new syllables.

Real citation: “At dinner, eat an enormous and unusual amount of sourdough bread, or any other thick, moist bread that can be churned into a heavy gastric paste among the confines of your nether-testines. In the morning, awaken yourself with a strong 2 cups of caffeinated coffee, and a whole fresh pineapple. This in itself is not enough to produce a turdological reaction in your colon. You must add substance, not only fibrous, but sponge-like. I suggest goldfish crackers. Like a whole bag, at least, and make it the multi-grain kind. They work faster. Go about your business for the rest of the morning.”
(Dec. 6, 2007, http://www.oregonsurf.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=127099&sid=740b9c2d70745d41a4eb23332e30acd6)

Made-up citation: “My dog is a prolific pooper, so I always carry at least five bags when we go out—just in case a 3-alarm, 5-part, 24-carat symphony of turdological virtuosity occurs.”