Friday, May 08, 2009


noun. Hey, at least I didn't post this on Mother's Day. I have some standards, you barbarians!

Real citation: "If you've read recent-ish Facebook Status Updates, or if you're my mom and have had this discussion with me, you already know that I'm in the market for a Mom-Stitute.
In fact, I think a whole army of Mom-Stitutes are in order. (Before I proceed, I should probably clarify that a Mom-Stitute would be a SUBstitute for a Mom...not anything to do with institutes or prostitutes. Just so we're clear.) There should be a hotline you can call the moment you know you'll be taking a trip down Sick Road, and your Mom-Stitute will arrive promptly to care for your children."
(April 2, 2009, The Rose Garden,

Made-up citation: "Today's consumers expect every mom-stitute to be a MILF, and every man to be a Batman. No wonder God sent swine flu to kill everyone, except the underground pig-men, who shall reign supreme! USA! USA!"

No comments: