beardzilla

noun. A particularly monstrous and humorous beard.

Real citation: "So Irina and Jack and Jack's beard meet up with Sydney and Mr. Zamir. Jennifer Garner shows what a consummate professional she is by not bursting into hysterical laughter at the sight of the beard, which makes me wonder how many takes they had to do to get this scene. Or maybe they exposed the actors to the beard one by one, in a quiet room, accompanied by a trained counsellor who could help them to confront and talk through the issues raised by the presence of the beard, before they were put into a position where they had to act with the beard. You know, like how you teach kids not to be scared of dogs, for instance. Or maybe they just had to shock the actors with the beard -- like, Victor Garber showed up for work that day, knowing from the script that it was the day he'd have to wear a fake beard, and he got to the set, and opened his trailer, and he can't quite get the door open -- he's pushing on it, and suddenly the door gives, and MY GOD, there it is! BEARDZILLA!"
(Wing Chun, "The Passage, Part Two," page 7, Television Without Pity, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=75&story=4278&page=7)

Made-up citation: "Though it may frighten small children and pets, a badass beardzilla is warming and so worth it in the winter."