Real citation: "The other night I was at Barney's Beanery where I met Kathy Lee and Frank Gifford's son, Cody Gifford. The celebu-spawn wedged his digits into the back of my control top panty hoes. At first I didn't notice—I just thought it was the crinkling of my trusty Depends. The devil inside me says, 'Let this little bastard impregnate you so you can siphon cash from his obnoxious celebrity dynasty.' But the other, pure side says, 'Leave the little nugget alone, he's only 18, and he's got several seasons of Celebrity Rehab in his future.' Fugly, the bank is about to foreclose on my house, should I receive his celebu-seed?"
(March 12, 2009, Points in Case, http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/fugly-slut/sperminated-santa-monica)
Made-up citation: "In LA, there are more options than whole, skim, 2%, and soy milk at Starbucks. For just one extra buck, you can get your chai tea made with pure, precious, pristine celebu-seed that may or may not represent the future reproductive success of Ben Stiller."