noun. Not as romantic as it sounds.
Real citation: "As a matter of fact, one of my friends has been trying to do the splits for about 4 weeks now and he got pretty close a couple days ago. He went to about 6 inches and held it for about a minute, or until it didn't hurt as bad, then kept going down. He eventually got about 2 inches above the ground before falling over due to extreme groin pullage."
(Dycid, Sept. 9, 2003, http://18.104.22.168/search?q=cache:ewWba6s8cboJ:trickstutorials.com/forum/showthread.php%3Fp%3D98271+%22groin+pullage%22&hl=en)
Made-up citation: "Studies show that both goalies and porn stars are prone to painful groin pullage and inappropriate mustache-osity."