noun phrase. A device capable of measuring overwhelmitude, underwhelmitude, and various whelms in between.
Real citation: "I needed to fit him on my Whelm Scale. He ended up landing 'under.' Oden ran with—there's no other way to say it—a noticeable limp. His body sank within itself, like the token tall guy in college who decides it's better to slump than to listen to tall jokes for the next four years. He jogged every time there was an opportunity to jog. Physically, he didn't seem any more intimidating than his teammate LaMarcus Aldridge. Everything about his body language said, "I'm not healthy or confident in my body yet.""
(Nov. 4, 2008, Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3683493)
Made-up citation: "I thought Florida had nothing going for it besides doddering retirees, fake breasts, and Mickey Mouse, but I have eaten sushi this week that scored a kabillion on the whelm scale. I'd cuddle this sushi at night like a teddy bear, if only the standards of my community and the honor code permitted."