hot dog with teeth

noun. A naked mole-rat, baby. It doesn't get any better than that.

Real citation: "Twenty-five percent of their musculature is in their jaws. Their powerful incisors extend outside their lips. Some people think they look like hot dogs with teeth!"
("Frequently Asked Questions about Naked Mole-Rats," http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/SmallMammals/nmrfaqs.cfm)

Made-up citation: "If a dickhead had his tallywhacker bitten off by a hot dog with teeth, that would be a real cock-up."