When I was a kid, I loved eating candy cigarettes and huffing candy glue.
My last girlfriend treated me like dog food—gourmet dog food. So that evened out.
I get my jollies by having my druthers. Hope that doesn’t give you the willies.
This summer, I’m going to use more tridents. I’m not getting any younger, you know.
I have the maturity of ten men, if the men are all about one and a half years old.