noun phrase. A serious condition of the groinal region not recommended by nurse practitioners or fashion consultants.
Real citation: "Emily: I'm too hot to put my clothes back on.
Chris: My black combat fatigues had catastrophic crotch failure.
Karen, after a camera flash: Ah! My retinas!"
(May 18, 2007, The Beadbonny Ash, http://artekka.livejournal.com/116619.html)
Made-up citation: "If God didn't want me to have catastrophic crotch failure, he wouldn't have sent an angel to rip my pants."