Monday, September 28, 2009


adv. Honky-ily.

Real citation: "In other news, we need to come up with a phrase to describe those Awkward White Guy Plays like the one in which Matt Hasselbeck got injured last week. If you didn't see it, he scrambled out of the pocket, thought he might be able to scramble into the end zone, realized he couldn't -- uh-oh, Awkward White Guy Play coming up! -- then ended up lurching forward with a dive, only he looked like a wrapped-up corpse that was being tossed into the ocean by gangsters. THUD! So what do we call these moments? Does 'Awkward White Guy Play' cover it? Could we did deeper with something like 'Vanilla Pudding Play'? Or just a two-word thing like 'Caucasianistically Challenged'? Or maybe just 'Went honky on us'? I'd like to figure this out. In a related story, Hasselbeck cracked a rib and ushered in a few weeks of the Seneca Wallace Temp QB Era, or as it's better-known, 'Ka-Ching.'"
(Sept. 25, 2009, Bill Simmons,,

Made-up citation: "I only do two things Caucasianistically: dancing and colonizing. Other than that, you'd hardly know I am a cracker."

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