de-douchebagify

verb. To remove—by hook, crook, or spork—all that is douchebaggy from a “person” or object.

Real citation: “So here's my idea: I can de-douchebagify your Internet dating profile. I'll do it for free. I want people to be happy and find love! Send me your profile and I'll spruce it up and I GUARANTEE greater returns on romance. What do ya'll think? That's my new small business idea.”
(Nov. 15, 2006, Diary of a Mad Brown Woman, http://rupadupe.blogspot.com/2006/11/square-peg-finds-love-i-mean-stupid.html)

Made-up citation: “To de-douchebagify you would take a trained team of therapists, surgeons, bartenders, and humanitarians--but losing the mustache is a good start.”