discomfitometer

noun. A discomfort-and-awkwardness-detecting device, located between the inner ear, pancreas, and soul.

Real citation: "The dinner party scored a perfect eleven on the discomfitometer, especially Jack's droll commentary about oil shortages. Hee!"
(kindscross, " 4-10: "The Index" 2005.03.09," March 9, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3124293&view=findpost&p=2626011)

Made-up citation: "During the surgical scenes in Nip/Tuck, I hold the remote over my eyes, for fear of fritzing out out my discomfitometer, yuckometer, or whatever you wanna call that feeling of ew, eee, and gah."