Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Sweet merciful monkey balls!

Today's word is two: "sweet" and "merciful," as in any exclamation along the lines of "Sweet merciful whatever!" All of my examples come straight from Google, though I did add exclamation points to many of them for the sake of consistency and an aesthetically-pleasing blog.

"Sweet merciful!" is occasionally found as an exclamation all on its lonesome, but there's usually a noun to go with the adjectives. By several miles, "Sweet merciful crap!" is the most common expression of this sort, with plenty of variations like "Sweet merciful crap on a stick!" and "Sweet merciful mother of crap!" I think this originated on The Simpsons episode "Last Exit to Springfield," when Homer said, "Sweet merciful crap! My car!"

Google web and group hits for "sweet merciful" and "sweet merciful crap" show the dominance of "crap" pretty clearly:

Web:
Sweet merciful--5,280
Sweet merciful crap--3,340
Groups:
Sweet merciful--3,440
Sweet merciful crap--2,440

After "crap," I'd say Mr. Jesus H. Christ is the most sweet, merciful thingy or dude in the world:

  • Sweet, sweet merciful Jesus!
  • Sweet merciful Jesus!
  • Sweet merciful Christ!
  • Holy sweet merciful Jebus!
  • Oh sweet merciful Jeeezus!
  • Sweet merciful bejesus!
  • Sweet merciful savior in heaven!
  • Oh, my dear sweet merciful baby Jesus!
  • Oh sweet merciful baby Jesus!
  • Sweet merciful Jeebus and his brother Harry!
  • Oh sweet merciful Jesus on a bicycle!
  • Sweet merciful Christ on a bike!
  • Oh sweet merciful fucking Christ on the cross!

God and heaven are included pretty often too:

  • Sweet merciful God!
  • Sweet merciful God almighty!
  • Sweet merciful heaven!
  • Sweet merciful heavens!
  • Sweet merciful god in heaven above!
  • Oh sweet merciful God in heaven!
  • Dear sweet merciful God!
  • Oh dear sweet merciful Lord!
  • Oh sweet merciful god in heaven!

Non-Christian powers-that-be from Greece, Asia, a galaxy far, far away, or the North Pole are also popular:

  • Sweet merciful force!
  • Sweet merciful Zeus!
  • Oh my sweet merciful Buddha!
  • Sweet merciful gods!
  • Sweet merciful divine!
  • Sweet merciful goddess!
  • Oh my sweet merciful ferret lord!
  • Sweet merciful Buddha on a crutch!
  • Sweet merciful Santa!

Monkeys are not unpopular:

  • Sweet merciful monkey!
  • OH DEAR SWEET MERCIFUL MONKEY MUFFINS!
  • Sweet merciful monkey crap!
  • Sweet merciful monkey ass!
  • Sweet merciful monkey-god!
  • Sweet merciful mother of purple monkey!
  • Sweet merciful f***monkeys!

Nor are mothers:

  • Sweet merciful mother of holy fucking christ!
  • Sweet merciful mother of God!
  • Sweet merciful Mother Nature!
  • Sweet merciful mother of pearl!
  • Sweet merciful mother of the good Lord Yaweh!!!
  • Sweet merciful mother of cake!
  • SWEET MERCIFUL MOTHER MARY MOSES'S MANIACAL MONKEY OF MOTOWN!!!!!
  • Sweet merciful mother of Zeus!
  • Sweet merciful mother of cheese!
  • Sweet merciful mother of Pete!
  • Sweet merciful mother of anything sacred!
  • Sweet merciful mother of muppets!

And where would exclamations be without obscenity?

  • Sweet merciful fuck!
  • Oh sweet merciful fucking Zeus!
  • SWEET MERCIFUL MOTHER OF FUCK!
  • Oh sweet merciful hell!
  • Holy sweet merciful hell!
  • Sweet merciful shit!
  • Sweet merciful cock!

Finally, I found a heaping helping of sweet, merciful randomness:

  • Sweet merciful McGillicuddy!
  • Sweet merciful progress!
  • Oh sweet merciful Julie Chen!
  • Sweet merciful marzipan!
  • Sweet merciful Wayne Gretzky!
  • Sweet merciful spiffiness!
  • Sweet merciful Red Auerbach!
  • Sweet merciful anal sex!
  • Sweet merciful webcam!
  • Sweet merciful toast!
  • Sweet merciful water pressure!
  • Holy sweet merciful Mary McGillicuddy!
  • Sweet merciful delete button!
  • Oh my sweet merciful 7-11 nachos!
  • Sweet merciful pancakes!

Now you can't say you didn't learn anything about sweet merciful things today.


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