penguin-abusing

adj. Used to describe a man, woman, child, or beast with a tendency to harm actual or decorative flightless waterfowl.

Real citation: "Instead of molding my attitudes and persona to fit other historians' expectations, I put my strange, angry, genuine, penguin-abusing self out there."
(Jon T. Coleman, “Haunted by Penguins,” The Chronicle of Higher Education, April 16, 2004, http://chronicle.com/jobs/2004/04/2004041601c.htm)

Made-up citation: “I’m looking for attractive singles within a twenty-mile radius who enjoy going to football games, listening to NPR, and penguin-abusing.”