Real citation: "walking back home from the market, i had to reach down and start into my bag of dried figs. a favorite chinese discovery. these delicacies are the size of a spinning nickel only closer in shape to a hershey's kiss before impact. and really resembling more of a scrotumette, which apparently does not phase me one morsel."
(May 5, 2004, http://solarlab.diaryland.com/stormeye.html)
Made-up citation: "You're not even a scrotum. You're a miserable, passive-aggressive, dried-up scrotumette, and thank Zeus we didn't have any kids."