turdbuffery

noun. They say you can't put lipstick on a pig, but apparently you can buff a turd.

Real citation: "If you *insist*... I would use a large lawnmower engine. In an extreme act of turdbuffery, the camshaft could be modified with extra lobes to open the intake and exhaust valves on *every* downstroke and upstroke (MIG or braze, and make a "pattern" with filecard stock to get the lobe shape fairly close with the grinder/file) and the neatest thing about this is that many lawnmower engines seem to already use NPT for the muffler attachment *anyway*"
(peejay, April 22, 2004, http://www.rx7club.com/forum/showthread.php?s=924860f93be657c29e530ade30b6365a&p=5571977#post5571977)

Made-up citation: "Even Mr. Turd Blossom Karl Rove doesn't have enough powers of turdbuffery to make this president shine."