I can poop anywhere, and that is awesome.
Your haircut stinks!
chwee chwee chwee chwee chwee
You call it preening, but a man’s gotta look his best.
dzeer dzeer dzeer tzee tzee
Someday, I am gonna kill a squirrel or malti-poo.
eeeen eeeen eeeen
I descended from dinosaurs, you know.
If I poop on this guy’s head, you owe me a Coke.
A cat on a leash! A cat on a leash! There is a God after all.
Do we have to practice this formation again? Jesus.
kyew kyew kyew kyew kyew
My third egg is gonna grow up to be a doctor.
ooaah coo coo coo
I know who killed Kennedy.
I would make a great mate. If you don’t believe me, ask your mom.
This is an instinct! This is an instinct!
No, you jackass, birdsong is learned!
If you mess with my eggs, I will cut you.
tzeen tzeen tzeen
Why do I even come back to this craphole every spring?
I love the smell of reproductive success in the morning.
Mate for life? No thanks. I get more ass than a branch.
Woof woof woof!
widdik pik widdik pik pik pik
You’ve got to stop this war in Afghanistan.
An angel getting its wings is bullshit. If anyone needs a new pair, it’s millions of chickens.