Monday, August 31, 2009

snore-gasmic

adj. Ooh-la-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Real citation: "@moryan Another question about Singer-helmed BSG re-re-boot. Did anyone at Universal see his snore-gasmic Superman Returns? All of it?"
(Aug. 15, 2009, Craig M. Ranapia, Twitter, http://twitter.com/CraigRanapia/statuses/3337047748)

Made-up citation: "I wouldn't want reviews of my hot wings to include the word snore-gasmic, but I'm OK with it appearing in my obituary."

Sunday, August 30, 2009

third-person-osity

noun. Mark Peters is enjoying this definition. Oh yeah.

Real citation: "Talking on Twitter without my usual third-person-osity is HARD"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Mike Stanton, Twitter, http://twitter.com/DoGudSnd/statuses/3473432579)

Made-up citation: "If you can't handle the third-person-osity, then maybe you're not ready to date Mark Peters and his tight abs, smooth testicles, pert buttocks, and watermelon-sized man-hooters."

Saturday, August 29, 2009

re-re-re-unretire

verb. A zigzagging process that may indicate "spending time with family" isn't exactly a chocolate cake made of rainbows.

Real citation: "NFL bonanza: Favre re-re-re-unretires, the Raiders/Cable murkiness"
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Kawakami, Talking Points, http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/08/18/nfl-bonanza-favre-re-re-re-unretires-the-raiderscable-murkiness/)

Made-up citation: "Someday I hope to re-re-re-unretire. Now I just need to find a job, a career, and pants."

Friday, August 28, 2009

hench-chimp

noun. Of all the hench-primates, this one is most closely related to the hench-bonobo.

Real citation: "Train a gang of monkeys to be my loyal hench-chimps."
(March 29, 2007, MCF's Nexus of Improbability, http://mysteriouscloakedfigure.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html)

Made-up citation: "Note to self: don't house the hench-chimps and hench-bananas together again."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

turbo-destructo-pup

noun. Also known in my culture as "puppy".

Real citation: "Candy is very close to our vision of the ideal whippet. Well, she is now. She was a sweetheart of a baby puppy -- not at all the typical turbo-destructo-pup we've come to expect from whippet youngsters."
(Sept. 5, 2008, Timbreblue Whippets, http://timbreblue.com/dogs/candy)

Made-up citation: "I see your new turbo-destructo-pup is going Old Testament on the sofa cushions. Nice. Even the Old Testament wasn't this brutal and romantic."

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

scoundrel-osity

noun. Han Solo had it. You can have it too for $99.99 and an original copy of your genome.

Real citation: "me too - I'm lovin' the inter-tubes...
...where lying scoundrels have literally microseconds to exist before their scoundrel-osity is exposed for all to see, in living color ;-)"
(Oct. 4, 2008, Daily Kos, http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/4/211344/750/45/620343)

Made-up citation: "Is it my scoundrel-osity that scares women off, even as my chest hair afro draws them ever closer? I am a paradox."

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

nano-diddly-squat

noun. Add nano-diddly to nano-squat, and this is what you got.

Real citation: "The recent closing of the University of Wyoming’s S.H. Knight Geological Museum due to budget constraints resulted in an uproar of protest from paleontologists, geologists, others in the scientific community, and the public. On June 30, 2009, the museum closed its doors and the job of the museum’s director, paleontologist Brent Breithaupt, was terminated along with that of a part-time employee. Sure, times are tough all over. But we’re talking about a museum with an annual operating expense of only $80,000. In today’s world of massive bailout mania this amounts to less than nano-diddly-squat."
(July 24, 2009, Science Buzz, http://www.sciencebuzz.org/taxonomy/term/14)

Made-up citation: "How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways: nano-diddly-squat. Want me to alphabetize the ways next?"

Monday, August 24, 2009

handjob-ologist

noun. A specialist who may practice even without years of medical training.

Real citation: "'She's like a handjob-ologist!' -Max"
(Aug. 22, 2009, Carlos Santiago, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LoskyS/status/3485100345)

Made-up citation: "No one wants to hear, 'Your sister's a
handjob-ologist!' Except me. Hey, it's a step up from lawyer."

Sunday, August 23, 2009

beer gut-ify

verb. A complex embiggening process.

Real citation: "Rule of Girl Life: The douchier the ex-boyfriend, the more likely it is that he'll stay hot. Facebook needs a 'beer gut-ify photo' option."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Zolora, Twitter, http://twitter.com/zolora/status/3392245269)

Made-up citation: "It's easy to drink a lot of beer without beer gut-ifying yourself. Nine hours a day at the gym and you're good."

Saturday, August 22, 2009

scentofawomantaur

noun. A primordial Pacino-esque beast.

Real citation: "We need some new mythological creatures. I propose the scentofawomantaur. Half Al Pacino, half horse. Speaks in hoo-ahs."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Tim Siedell, Twitter, http://twitter.com/badbanana/status/3396263583)

Made-up citation: "We'll never know if cavemen or asteroids killed the scentofawomantaur, or if it killed its own career by appearing in dozens of horrible movies."

Friday, August 21, 2009

post-dinner-sinner

adj. The dessert of champions.

Real citation: "Wife's been cockblockin' me all day. As she left to meet friend, she made post-dinner-sinner overtures, but I don't buy it. Betcha I tug it."
(Aug. 18, 2009, Kevin Smith, Twitter, http://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith/status/3397337757)

Made-up citation: "I have always had to curtail post-dinner-sinner activities due to explosive bowel syndrome--the not-so-silent killer."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

snausage feet syndrome

noun phrase. A great reason to always wear hooker boots around your dog.

Real citation: "WebMD thinks I either had too much salt today or am experiencing acute liver failure. Curiously, no mention of 'Snausage Feet Syndrome'."
(Aug. 19, 2009, killorn, Twitter, http://twitter.com/killorn/statuses/3401643383)

Made-up citation: "I never used to like looking at women's feet till I moved to the big city, where more money is spent per toe than per child in the schools. Now, I'm a foot-liker to rival Quentin Tarantino. Of course, snausage feet syndrome could probably scare me straight."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

prosti-pouting

adj. A facial expression rarely observed on the late Mother Theresa.

Real citation: "Can't say that I'm disappointed in the prosti-pouting plastic divas demise. The thought of a doll dressed in fishnets, boas, heavy makeup and miniskirts marketed to 4-8 year old girls is at the least disturbing, and even more so, is watching companies advocating this sexuality on young children. Wasn't it enough with the busty wasp waisted Barbie?"
(Dec. 4, 2008, Elysian Field Originals, http://elysianfieldoriginals.blogspot.com/2008/12/prosti-pouting-plastic-divasis-this-end.html)

Made-up citation: "I think I'd be more successful if I practiced prosti-pouting more... How does that look? No, I didn't poo myself."

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

special agent-tastic

adj. See this gun? Well, it's not only a gun. It may appear to be a small, deadly gun, but it is really a freaking enormous, super-deadly turbo-gun that can blow up buildings. It's also a waffle iron.

Real citation: "@jeremyduns is now also tweeting as his character @pauldark1969 from his novel, FREE AGENT. Follow him for some special agent-tastic action!"
(Aug. 17, 2009, Twitter,
http://twitter.com/simonschusterUK/statuses/3361147905)

Made-up citation: "I think my new utility belt is quite special agent-tastic. See it? No, you can't. Exactly my point."

Monday, August 17, 2009

shit-splosive

adj. May involve a turdtastrophe.

Real citation: "Today has been like the crazy shit-splosive exclamation point on my shitty week. Sad part is, it isn't over yet."
(Aug. 7, 2009, John Cox, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Mr_Kree/statuses/3185090663)

Made-up citation: "Words I don't want to see in my obituary: autoerotic, clown, shit-splosive, bear, trident."

Sunday, August 16, 2009

de-clutter-ification

noun. A cleansing process. No, not for your colon. Get a grip!

Real citation: "work till 730 then coming back home to clean some more, the de-clutter-ification has begun"
(Aug. 13, 2009, Morgan Phillips, Twitter, http://twitter.com/morganza21/statuses/3292600548)

Made-up citation: "The de-clutter-ification of my apartment has begun, and I still have three nukes left. This is going well."

Saturday, August 15, 2009

buttface-edness

noun. A quality possessed by all buttfaces--and a few assfaces too.

Real citation: "@algonquinrt 'buttfacedness' yes, 'buttfaceness' no. BTW I pronounce it 'buttface-edness' JS"
(Aug. 11, 2009, Miss Kitty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/booboo_kitty33/statuses/3251142424)

Made-up citation: "If you think buttface-edness is horrible, what would you say about facebutt-edness? It might be a good month to stay away from the latest medical journals."

Friday, August 14, 2009

attack-majiggy

noun. A violent yet vague something-whatsit.

Real citation: "The sinusitis attack-majiggy
I hateeeeeee it when my sinuses flare up and there's that constant feeling of a strong sneeze coming on, coupled with burning nostrils! Argggh!!! This one nasal spray I am using gives me relief for a an hour at most. This is the one bad thing of Oman. It's so hot everywhere outside that if you are in an air conditioned room and then back outside in the heat one too many times, there are chances of having some kind of allergy/cold situation."
(May 27, 2009, Nafisascope, http://vanillasmush.blogspot.com/2009/05/sinusitis-attack-majiggy.html)

Made-up citation: "Beware of imminent attack-majiggies! You may need to yada yada the blah blah at any whatever!"

Thursday, August 13, 2009

ham-rizon

noun. Like the horizon, but more piggy and delicious.

Real citation: "As to whether Iberico lives up to the hype, well... it depends on how much of a Ham Nerd you are, and how seriously you take things like 'trendiness' and 'European' and 'expensive = good.' That said, this meat is making waves from London to Paris to Rome, cities not lacking in native cured delicacies. So if you are a ham-thusiast looking to broaden your ham-rizons, this is probably worth a quarter pound investment. And if you want to wade in slowly, Despana has a fantastic selection of Serrano, house-made chorizo, and delicious blood sausage. So head on down, and make merry Iberian style. Just don't forget to close your eyes and pay respect to those noble pigs who roam the great Spanish plains..."
(Sept. 23, 2008, The Porkchop Express, http://www.porkchop-express.com/2008/02/bring-me-ham-of-alfredo-garcia.html)

Made-up citation: "It's time to expand our ham-rizons. Honey? Instead of a wedding dress and tux, let's wrap ourselves in bacon. I want this wedding to be special--and very appealing to bears."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

un-holiday-ish-esque

adj. It's not Christmas, Santa, so why are you here? Does this mean you're finally leaving Mrs. Claus for my sister?? Oh, happy day!

Real citation: "The eve of a nat'l holiday (& mid-week vacation day), but feeling decidedly un-holiday-ish (esque?) But only 3 more sleeps til I flee town!"
(June 30, 2009, agirlnamedkelly, Twitter, http://twitter.com/agirlnamedkelly/statuses/2411184114)

Made-up citation: "Though my demeanor and garb may appear severe and un-holiday-ish-esque, on the inside I am festive: I wrapped tinsel around both lungs, and stuffed a mistletoe up my butt. You can't undeck my halls, jack."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

douche-anova

noun. A would-be Casanova with inadequate levels of Cas.

Real citation: "The office douche-anova. If I don't fall all over you on my first day, I must be a lesbian. Or, pardon me, 'carpet muncher'."
(Aug. 6. 2009, Michelle Wood, I'm in Parentheses, http://iminparentheses.blogspot.com/2009/08/things-i-hate-office-edition.html)

Made-up citation: "I'd rather be a douche-anova than a douche-wibbler. In my family, we have a strict no-wibbling policy. Hey, what're you gonna do?"

Monday, August 10, 2009

throwupitudinous

adj. Barfitudinous.

Real citation: "I heard the word blingitude on a commercial. It was a really bad commercial too. It made me feel throwupitudinous."
(Aug. 8, 2009, On Words and Upwords, Twitter, http://twitter.com/onWords/status/3192003457)

Made-up citation: "I was just recalling my athletic prime as a collegiate chicken-finger-eating champion... I succeeded because I was never throwupitudinous. Also, I was a master at writhing in pain for about 10 hours, post-competition. Ah, the good old days!"

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Chicago-istan

noun. May contain trace elements of Chicago.

Real citation: "I lived in an English town. Very diveres culture. Great food. Very cold. It was names Chicago-istan. It's not far from the border."
(Feb. 25, 2006, My TMMO Community Forum Forums, https://www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com/modules/fusetalk3/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=6&threadid=27920&highlight_key=y&keyword1=vehicle)

Made-up citation: "Dear Zeus, I love being in Chicago-istan. I live in a great neighborhood, with an awesome dog, and my dungeon of virgins is first-rate."

Saturday, August 08, 2009

crawl-under-a-rock-y

adj. Shy-y.

Real citation: "feel all gross and crawl-under-a-rock-y ): @wordlust gives good word though (not in a bible-y sense, though. In a yowzah sense)"
(Aug. 7, 2009, Cat Parker, Twitter, http://twitter.com/heysailor00/status/3182641640)

Made-up citation: "When I feel all
crawl-under-a-rock-y, I find a bigger rock--like a boulder. Then I push it onto some orphans. Then I feel better!"

Friday, August 07, 2009

blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologist

noun. If this means wizard, then I want to be a wizard.

Real citation: "Am stuck in this Shadowrun mission where 90% of it is hacker-based and I am a blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologist. :P"
(Aug. 2, 2009, Moryera, Twitter, http://twitter.com/Moryera/statuses/3090397481)

Made-up citation: "Future wars will not be fought by nations, or armies, or even robots. They will consist of hellish confrontations between rival blow-shit-up-with-magic-ologists on Showtime."

Thursday, August 06, 2009

fugly-pepto-pink

adj. Ew. Also, gag me with something heavy.

Real citation: "@Epiphora weird how that set is vegan friendly and yet fugly-pepto-pink. usually my people have better taste."
(Aug. 2, 2009, Merrill Cotten, Twitter, http://twitter.com/LOLmerrill/status/3084194231)

Made-up citation: "Why don't my co-workers respect me? Is it my fugly-pepto-pink hat and everpresent business snorkel? This economy is murder!"

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

muffin-top-icity

noun. Oh, the flesh-manity!

Real citation: "Worst part of summer? Blatant muffin-top-icity."
(Aug. 3, 2009, Marne Zollinger, Twitter, http://twitter.com/marnedz/status/3111496431)

Made-up citation: "Muffin-top-icity and sunstroke are two of the top hazards of summer and hell, according to my doctor."

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

non-inverse-pessimism

noun. I have a bad feeling about this word. Or do I?

Real citation: "It's called non-inverse-pessimism.
Update: I think I may have just triggered a remote mind-wipe on myself."
(May 9, 2009, Whedonverse, http://whedonesque.com/comments/20240#more)

Made-up citation: "I believe in non-inverse-pessimism, but I can't in good conscience recommend it to others. On the other hand, goat's blood is a cure-all."

Monday, August 03, 2009

hobo-stronaut

noun. Maybe they're attracted by the space junk.

Real citation: "@badbanana Yeah, you do it up there and you're an astronaut, down here and you're a hobo...stronaut. (Hmm, I may have a tv show pitch here.)"
(July 31, 2009, John Lynch, Twitter, http://twitter.com/jtlynchjr/statuses/3059751012)

Made-up citation: "Why did I become a hobo-stronaut? Well, sometimes you have to make a compromise between your own dreams and what your parents want you to be."

Sunday, August 02, 2009

haiku-stipation

noun. A poetry-stifling blockage that all the prune juice and creative writing workshops in the world won't unclog. (But Spam might).

Real citation: "Just like I have Blogstipation, you have Haiku-stipation.Take some Haiku-Mucil and you'll be fine."
(Feb. 20, 2009, Tessa Scoffs, http://tessascoffs.blogspot.com/2009/02/friday-haiku_20.html)

Made-up citation: "My haiku-stipation lasted years, which pleased everyone around me. And then the dams of my soul burst: 'The beer is flowing / like the beer I spilled--oops--on / the cherry blossoms.'"

Saturday, August 01, 2009

non-humany-spirity-thingy

noun. Boooooooooo! That is all I have to say.

Real citation: "Lulu the Vampire/werewolf and Cor the non-humany-spirity-thingy...ey!!!"
(Oct. 5, 2008, Gaia Online, http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/?mode=view&post_id=23205809)

Made-up citation: "I can deal with zombies, killbots, goblins, and linebackers.... I can defeat them in my sleep. But a non-humany-spirity-thingy? That just gives me the ibby-jibbies. That and aardvarks."