Tuesday, August 29, 2006

performance artist-y

adj. Yams may be involved.

Real citation: "1. Res- If you haven't heard her, you need to. I love her vibe; it's like R&B with a performance artist-y thing. Very cool."
(lauraz, Nov. 20, 2001, http://www.3blackchicks.com/ubb/Forum9/HTML/000008.html)

Made-up citation: "Though I once squawked like a bird while butt naked on stage, I don't feel very performance artist-y this summer."

masterplanesque

adj. An evil genius may be involved.

Related terms: masterplanish.

Real citation: "as did about 3000 people in this 'catastrophic and catalyzing event', as it is entitled in the officially available masterplanesque document 'Rebuilding´s Americas Defenses',"
(Jan. 7, 2006, http://www.turnmeondeadman.net/cgi/forum/Blah.pl?b=IBP,m=1127405565)

Made-up citation: "They're not masterplanesque, but my daily to-do lists are mega-detailed and probably symptomatic of something."

Friday, August 25, 2006

blamfrazzled

adj. Confuzzled, bamboozled, flabbergasted, and whangdoodled.

Real citation: "It's not quite matter-of-factly that she says this (I bet you can imagine right now the precise note of weariness she gives this speech), but Adama is still blamfrazzled, as I imagine most viewers were too. So sudden!"
(Jacob, "Resurrection Ship, Part I," page 5, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/articles/content/a425/index-4.html)

Made-up citation: "I was blamfrazzled at the news that my puppy peed on the dogsitter's bed. Urine-soaked sheets do not a happy dogsitter make. Bad puppy!"

smurfitudinous

adj. When "smurfy" just doesn't cut it.

Related terms: crapitudinous, fuckitudinous, funkitudinous.

Real citation: "Secondly: King Schlong! Oh, my dear sweet Boring Smurf of Smurfitudinous Retching. Yick."
(Bex, "King Schlong and The Island of HORRID STUPIDITY," Jan. 9, 2006, http://bexschwartz.blogspot.com/2006/01/king-schlong-and-island-of-horrid.html)

Made-up citation: "I'm pretty sure Texas is smurfitudinous, and that's another reason I'm glad to be leaving."

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

East Buttfuckistan

noun. The boon-diddly-fucking-docks.

Real citation: "They'll do it Olympics-style and nail some guy from East Buttfuckistan or some similarly small former Soviet Bloc country. The dude won't make it out of his motos anyway so the main show goes on yet the governing bodies can cheer the success of their testing campaign."
(DNBLC, June 29, 2005, http://www.bmxnews.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=707&highlight
=&PHPSESSID =7e8b4c9ea90fc3b9c9f288dfc9deec0f)

Made-up citation: "Staying at a hotel in East Buttfuckistan, Texas makes me all the more grateful for my Chicago neighborhood, where the lake, two sushi restaurants, and boatloads of coconut bubble tea are blocks away."

horndogess

noun. A horndog with feminine wiles and parts.

Related terms: horndogette.

Real citation: "Whenever I get a massage, I become an absolute horndogess. My husband loves it!"
(M'Kay, May 16, 2006, http://sweatpantsmom.blogspot.com/2006/05/agony-and-ecstasy-sort-of.html)

Made-up citation: "My life is lacking boats and horndogesses. Everything else is groovy."

Sunday, August 20, 2006

squicknaciousness

noun. Gag me with a spoon, chainsaw, papal scepter, or whatever else is handy.

Real citation: "(It's sweet how you held your ear fast to him in spite of squickage. Or would that be squickery? Squicknaciousness? I'd better consult Darkrazor...)"
(July 11, 2004, http://bondage.com/topic_id/97920/p/2/forums/topic.html)

Made-up citation: "My puppy-eating-a-condom story got topped by the utter squicknaciousness of this tale: In one afternoon, this dude's dog ate a condom and then washed it down with human feces. Christ on a crepe..."

motherplooker

noun. A motherhumper Frank Zappa would be proud of.

Related terms: clusterplook, roto-plooker.

Real citation: "We don't need no water, let the motherplooker burn."
(AAlgar, June 20, 2006, http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=73507&page=174)

Made-up citation: "Edward James Olmos is the scariest motherplooker on my TV these days, narrowly edging the Reno 911 guy's shorts."

Friday, August 18, 2006

Jeebusish

adj. Kinda sorta Jeebus-y.

Related terms: Jeebus, Jeebusly, Jeebus-free, anti-Jeebusness.

Real citation: "In typical Republican slime fashion Mayor James West was all Jeebusish and Family Values when he was in front of the public, but in accordance with the Republican Agenda it was all lies in an effort to gain the trust of the public so he could betray it."
(Steve Rider, "Anti-Gay Gay Mayor Outed and Ousted in Spokane," Dec. 7, 2005, My Daily Rant, http://my-daily-rant.com/?p=252)

Made-up citation: "My carefully groomed beard is Jeebusish, though my passionate belief in leprechauns is not."

speedotastic

adj. Sausage-tight swimwear for sausages.

Real citation: "Have a speedotastic birthday!!"
(July 14, 2006, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=27170462)

Made-up citation: "Well-endowed, speedotastic wearers of the banana hammock prefer to think of it as a Banana Republic."

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

fracktarded

adj. Dumb as a fox of fracked-up rocks.

Related terms: fucktarded, asstarded, smurftarded, nontarded, untarded.

Real citation: "I never played any of the D&D games so to be honest I have no idea what the debate is about. 1stDevil, coming in and not only not have a clue at what this thread is really talking about and then thrashing out like a baby at what others have to say is pretty fracktarded."
(Zor Primus, Dec. 19, 2005, http://www.macrossworld.com/mwf/lofiversion/index.php?t17198.html)

Made-up citation: "When my meerkat-like puppy barks at the barking meerkats on TV, it is both fracktarded and adorable."

kegelicious

adj. Chock full o' delicious groin-exercising goodness.

Real citation: "cheesebikini> kegelicious"
(http://www.seanbonner.com/blog/archives/000377.php)

Made-up citation: "Mmm...kegelicious coffee. What? I like coffee."

Sunday, August 13, 2006

jackasswad

noun. Asshole plus jackhole plus dickwad minus a dick and two holes.

Real citation: "Well, this woman pulled out paperwork upon paperwork on this guy and sat and told my friend of the tales of this asshole....the guy and the ex wife have an 8 yr old daughter together...I guess they have pretty much found proof along with some things the 8 yr old has said, that has led to them investigating this jackasswad for child molesting/neglect!!!!"
(July 20, 2002, "Grrrrr I hate Ma Bell for letting..........." http://mistybrowneyes.mydeardiary.com/entry.html?de_key=663326)

Made-up citation: "Until now, no one has called the President our Jackasswad-in-Chief. But it was inevitable."

midpiddle

adj. In medias piss.

Real citation: "From here our story spins wildly out of control: bodyguards, snotty remarks, alleged weaponry, wanton pee-splash, some poor fool getting smacked several times in the face midpiddle."
(Adrian Ryan, "Celebrity I Saw U," July 20, 2006, The Stranger, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=44513)

Made-up citation: "When my puppy is in midpiddle and looks up at me, I say 'good potty.' This guy down the street has a more creative proclamation of potty praise: 'Tally ho!'"

Thursday, August 10, 2006

fucked-in-the-headitude

noun. If you're farooked in the melon or even plooked in the noggin, you possess this quality.

Related terms: bone-headitude.

Real citation: "Whatever it is that's driving you into this sad, sad display of fucked-in-the-headitude, I hope you know you can tell all about it to Unca Ari. I promise to seriously consider any mitigating circumstances you might want to present."
(Ari, April 6, 2002, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk/
msg/0b22983fdbdfaaf8?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "Dudes on quaaludes exuded fucked-in-the-headitude when they wooed nude geese."

non-spyful

adj. Completely lacking double agents, Bondish gadgetry, and covert wigs.

Real citation: "I like that Isabelle toppled her Project Christmas Tower of Portent. It makes me think that she might be able to choose a non-spyful life. It's probably giving the writers too much credit to think that they did that on purpose. "
(joshleejosh, "5-16/5-17: "Reprisal"/"All the Time in the World" 2006.05.22," May 22, 2006, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3141076&view=findpost&p=5321000)

Made-up citation: "While housesitting, it's hard to be non-spyful. What's in this drawer? Wheeee!"

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

confessy-time

noun. A Catholic tradition that's catholic enough for the whole fucking world, it would seem.

Real citation: "Isabel, Sandra Oh, and Seattle Grey are leaning over the railing overlooking the big Seattle poster from last week. Oh looks in pain, but she won't take meds because they're for wussies. Isabel non-sequiturs about hating Alex, which gives Meredith the chance to announce that she broke up with Dempsey. Since it's all confessy-time, Oh tells them Chief Wannabe #2 wants a relationship. The girls agree that boys are stupid."
(Josh, Oct. 24, 2005, seattle.metblogs.com/archives/2005/10/greys_anatomy_r_11.phtml)

Made-up citation: "Ok folks, it's confessy-time time: Last week my dog tried to eat a condom on the street, and this week doggie kisses were once again permitted in my household. Decapitate me now."

mutineeress

noun. A mutineer with feminine wiles. And possibly a shiv.

Real citation: "GETTING A BIT HUNGRY, YOU MUTINEERESS!!!!' WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT!!!!"
(Jeanway, May 10, 2004, http://www.startrekfans.net/lofiversion/index.php/t12797.html)

Made-up citation: "On boats, spacecraft, and canoes, mutineeresses are never welcome. However, ark-owners will take whoever they can get."

Sunday, August 06, 2006

sick-puppy-esque-ness

noun. Look deep into the eyes, soul, or pants of a sick puppy, and this ye shall find.

Real citation: "Justify it and claim 'specialness' because of their 'sick-puppy-esque-ness'."
(Allison Wonderland, June 15, 2001, http://groups.google.com/group/alt.consciousness.4th-way/msg/47e530fdce2fc5be?hl=en&)

Made-up citation: "According to the Koran, one should avoid all sick-puppy-esque-ness. Or maybe that was my Aunt Laura."

sausagefestish

adj. Tallywhackerpalooza-y.

Real citation: "Eh kinda sausagefestish party pics, but... edward fortyhands drinking game!... hehe"
(http://www.genmay.net/archive/index.php/t-249267.html)

Made-up citation: "With no male friends in Chicago, my life has never been less sausagefestish."

Thursday, August 03, 2006

stem-cell-hugger

noun. Well, they are adorable.

Related words: tree-hugger, panda-hugger, caribou-hugger, lung-hugger, Bill-of-Rights-hugger, Constitution-hugger, habitat-hugger.

Real citation: "TAKE THAT STEM CELL HUGGER"
(quietgirl, Dec. 16, 2005, http://www.airamerica.com/ms/node/1103?from=360&comments_per_page=90)

Made-up citation: "I can't blame stem-cell-huggers for their strong beliefs. Paul's 'Letter to the Stem Cells' is very persuasive."

fembot-tastic

adj. Mmm...womanly chrome charms.

Real citation: "fembot-tastic"
("Happy Halloweenie!," http://community.webshots.com/album/491491092FfdCJU)

Made-up citation: "If I had a nickel for every time I felt 'fembot-tastic,' I wouldn't have any nickels."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

baseball bat moment

noun. A writing or directing choice that anviliciously bludgeons all beholders.

Real citation: "It's fitting that Tigh would hit the bottle again, but the bit at the end with the flask was overkill. At least the way it was shot anyway. Yes, we get he's an acoholic who fell off the wagon for the umpteenth time. Cripes, we don't need extra closeups of the flask, but seeing as these baseball bat moments are few and far between, I'm willing to let this one slide (mostly)."
(specialj67, "2-3: "Fragged" 2005.07.29," July 29, 2005, Television Without Pity, http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=3129080&view=findpost&p=3320489)

Made-up citation: "Watching The Shield kind of makes me want to wash my hands, bleach my brain, and cry in my crepes, but I love that it has hardly any baseball bat moments."

degoopified

adj. Look elsewhere, ye who seek goop. Or wads.

Related words: deballified, defuckified, desmellified, destinkified.

Real citation: "spray some on the surface to be degoopified, wait a few minutes, and paper towel off the gunk."
(Cap'n Dex, May 17, 2004, http://www.ambackforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=311170&sid=d6947526cd1b67bab846cb70d47c1514)

Made-up citation: "I won't leave the house with degoopified hair, though I've been told I'm an overgooper."